No need to beat around the bush: I HATED THIS BOOK. The use of caps should tell all. I was curious if other people felt the same way so I looked up the reviews on Amazon; I'm totally surprised to see that most people enjoyed the book, although like A Mighty Heart, I wonder if people are not separating the intriguing and heartrending subject matter from the quality and tone of the actual work.I'm going to try to keep this short, as I could go on and on with my complaints. At first, the book captivated me - and I couldn't put it down - up until I hit the middle section, when Elissa is married off to her cousin, Allen Steed. After that, I found it intolerable; by the time I reached the last 70 pages or so, I basically raced through it, just wanting to get to the end. I've purposely waited a few days since finishing it to write this post so I wouldn't go off - and who would've thought a non-fiction book could make a girl so angry?
The book's subtitle explains the plot in a nutshell: "My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs." Elissa grows up outside of Salt Lake City in a polygamous household; her father has 24 kids with three wives. But there are problems within the family and her father is stripped of wives at various times as punishment. Eventually, Elissa's mother, Sharon, is married off to another man in Hildale, where the church is essentially headquartered. Throughout it all, Elissa's siblings question the faith and the kids are labeled as troublemakers. Then one day, her new father tells the family (he has 15 wives living there!) that the prophet has had a revelation from God that 14-year-old Elissa is to be married. She freaks, and then freaks out even more when she finds out it's to her first cousin Allen, whom she despises. After the wedding, which happens in the middle of the book, Elissa tries to fight off her husband's sexual advances, suffers several miscarriages, takes breaking church rules to a whole new level, meets someone else, gets pregnant, and flees the church once Warren implies that she's going to be sacrificed to pay for her sins. The book ends with Warren Jeffs' trial and conviction.
POOR ME, THE VICTIM
The title should have been the first clue, but I found Elissa's willing victimization of herself infuriating. She presents herself as a complete, 100% victim - that is, until she starts presenting herself as a martyred hero. Yes, Warren Jeffs is the devil, but that doesn't automatically make Elissa a saint; life does not happen in black and white. The book uses the passive tense constantly (everything happens to Elissa and her family) but the unfolding of events contradicts her own argument that she was totally helpless. As a result, it makes her an unreliable narrator; once I realized she was twisting the story, I had a hard time believing what she had to say. She definitely, purposefully broke the rules of the church, over and over again, from little things like watching banned movies to big things like having an affair when she's already married. And while, from the outside, her actions seem justified (or, at least, she justified them) because the church's dictates are absolutely ridiculous, she was a willing member of that church. She saw siblings and friends leave, and while it would have been a difficult choice, she could have made it; she chose to stay. And she stays until the end, until she's about to get booted out or sacrificed. It reminds me of that scene in Cold Mountain, when Renee Zellweger's character says, "They call this war a cloud over the land. But they made the weather and then they stand in the rain and say, 'Shit, it's raining.'" I could go on, but I won't, so I'll just say this in closing the point: Elissa chooses to remain a part of the FLDS. She keeps breaking the rules (and disobeying her husband and the prophet's orders on that subject), and then can't understand why she's being punished. I am certainly NOT, NOT, NOT justifying Warren Jeffs' actions - rather, it's that Elissa courts trouble and then gets upset when she gets in trouble. If she wants to break the repressive rules, fine. If she wants to run away, fine. I applaud both those courses of action; she's grown up in a brain-washing cult. What bugs me is that she wants it both ways: She wants to stay in a church that says the prophet dictates all, but when she doesn't like what the prophet has to say, she tries to circumvent the "revelation"...and never recognizes her own responsibiliy in the situation. It's this lack of awareness that I found completely infuriating.
POOR ALLEN
He's a tough one to talk about, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that the book unfairly crucified him. So basically, Elissa hates him because she feels he bullied her when they were younger, and is hysterical from the moment she finds out he's her intended. Although it's never explicitly stated, the book implies that the prophet is marrying Elissa off to keep her in check. Allen's duty is basically to make her fall in line - and he's supposed to do this is by impregnating her. (The FLDS controls women by keeping them uneducated and pregnant, and telling them that they can't get to heaven without their husbands.) Since Elissa hates him and knows absolutely zero about sex, she freaks on their wedding night. He ends up forcing her time and time again and she comes to abhor him. It's tough to talk about him because he's raping her; automatically, you're supposed to feel like he's evil (and in the book, he's equated with Warren Jeffs). But I think that's an easy label from the outside: After the book spends hundreds of pages on how the prophet controls the flock, I think you also start to see how Allen too is being forced. He's 19 years old when they get married; he's emotionally immature and pretty uneducated, having been raised in this isolated community. His entire life, he's been taught and experience has shown him that he's responsible for what the wives do, and he can be stripped of his home and family at any time on the prophet's word. And the thing is, Armageddon isn't some vague future event; no, Warren Jeffs starts telling them that it's coming, and like, tomorrow. It just seems like Allen was under an enormous amount of pressure. Elissa gives many examples where Allen would bring her flowers or write her a love note; in every instance, she says it was an insincere gesture, a lie, but when you take away her editorializing, you see a guy who really tried to make an effort in his arranged marriage. Elissa, on the other hand, NEVER makes an effort even though she lies to the prophet (and herself) when she says she does...which leads right back up to the lack of awareness. I could add some quotes but I'm going to stop now as I'm getting riled up thinking about it.
Yes, Allen Steed does some awful things. But so do a lot of other people in that book, in the name of religion and salvation. Her mother leaves one of her sons on the side of the road after he gets kicked out due to bad behavior; Elissa's current husband, Lamont, signs an affidavit that helps an FLDS man regain custody of his children after his wife takes them and flees, as Lamont thinks it will help him get back in Warren's good graces (it doesn't). And for God's sake, no woman in that church is married to a man of her choice, including her mother. Elissa never seems to recognize that her situation is no different than any other woman's; she's "raped" and the others "submit" and it's semantics. (I believe that it's wrong, ABSOLUTELY, but I have also never agreed and would never agree to be a member of that church and uphold that belief system.) Elissa never recognizes that these practices have been happening since the church was founded; Warren may have tightened the prophet's grip but he certainly didn't invent the basic tenets. So why does every ordinary person get a free pass except Allen? I guess I feel like if you're going to write a book, you need to try and be objective about the situation. And even with a ghostwriter (and an editor, for that matter), Stolen Innocence doesn't make an effort -- it's like one big Burn Book.
Alright, I'm seriously going to stop now. I will say, though, books like this are why I started this blog. I really wanted to talk about works that I loved or hated. Out of school, people read different books at different times (or no books at all), so it's so hard to have a conversation. I decided that if I have to be content with talking with myself, then so be it.
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