#23: New Moon, Stephenie Meyer

So I'm looking at this book sitting in front of me and I'm having a hard time remembering what it's about. I did like New Moon, but it hasn't stayed with me the way Twilight has. Perhaps because it doesn't have the same level of narrative tension. Like the first book, not a lot happens. For the most part, Bella retreats into a shell because Edward has left her. He breaks it off with cruel words and she believes him, and then spends hundreds of pages in a total funk. She kinda starts liking Jacob Black, newly ordained werewolf. (Yes, I know: Girl meets, likes vampires and werewolves? Insert eye roll.) And then Alice shows up and they're off to save her beloved Edward. Part of the problem, I think, was that I was pretty sure that Edward was coming back; it's just not the kind of story where the main character moves on and settles for someone she doesn't love. So I kinda got a little impatient to move through the sad part, which at times struck me as filler. (Interestingly, Stephenie Meyer encourages you to read this book twice; she thinks people overlook the middle section because they just want to know what happens.) My other issue is that I have little idea of what's going to happen in Eclipse; I don't think this book really set up (or even hinted at) the next conflict at all.

But whatever, I'm still into the series. So thank god, my copies of Eclipse and Breaking Dawn have already made their way into my possession, thank you library. I've just got to finish Time's Arrow before I can jump back into the mythical adventures taking place in Forks, Washington.

Oh, before I go, I do have to give Stephenie Meyer props for injected a little more humor into this one. My favorite lines, courtesy of page 477: "I looked at Aro [the Italian vampire] blankly. Was he joking? Or was he really asking me if I wanted to stay for dinner?" Heehee.

Seinfeld's Head on a Plate

In poking around the Internet just now, I came across a new story about Jessica Seinfeld, Missy Chase Lapine, and veggie-gate. Apparently, Lapine filed papers on Tuesday explaining why she was suing the Seinfelds in the first place, in preparation for a December hearing.

Lapine charges that Jessica Seinfeld knowingly plagarized her cookbook, The Sneaky Chef, when she published her own, Deceptively Delicious, about six months later. From what I've read, it's not even possible that Seinfeld stole from the book; publishing schedules are such that Seinfeld's book was basically done and on its way to the printer when Lapine's came out. I've also seen arguments that since the idea isn't original to Lapine, you can't accuse someone else of taking it. When this first developed last year, I did see a story that convincingly argued that perhaps HarperCollins took the idea, which Lapine had pitched them, and gave it to Jessica Seinfeld, knowing that her celebrity would sell the book. (And it did; Seinfeld's only qualification to write a cook book to feed kids is that she's a mother who cooks.) But more recently, that theory seems to have been debunked.

But still, I hope the Seinfelds get their asses handed to them in court. Their behavior, their arrogance, has just been abominable since this story came out. Personally, I've been shocked with what they've been able to say about Lapine; even more, I'm surprised that people like Barbara Walters and David Letterman have allowed the Seinfelds to come on their shows and say what they want about this woman, when Chase has virtually no media voice at all.

In these recent papers, Lapine explained that her daughter was alarmed after Jerry Seinfeld's stint on Letterman last year, when the so-called comedian said that people with three names turn out to be assasins. He also labeled Lapine a wacko. In a statement, Seinfeld's lawyers this week said, "As a comedian, Jerry has a right under the First Amendment to tell jokes. Ms. Lapine, on the other hand, was not joking when she maliciously accused Jessica Seinfeld, who also has young children, of plagiarism, a charge that is demonstrably false.'' But the thing is, I saw that Letterman episode. If Seinfeld was making jokes, it didn't come across as humor; it seemed pretty clear to me that he used his opportunity on national television to defame this woman and shoot her down. But you can decide for yourself; watch the clip on, ironically, Defamer: http://defamer.com/hollywood/revenge-comedy/seinfeld-to-letterman-whats-the-deal-with-that-crazy-woman-my-wife-stole-all-her-cookbook-ideas-from-316797.php

Twenty days later, Jessica Seinfeld went on The View to promote her cookbook and make more snide allegations about a woman who does have a legitimate gripe with her. (It may not be true, but there are striking similarities between those books that shouldn't just be brushed aside.) Jessica told Barbara and clan that Lapine is just jealous because she, Jessica, got to promote her book on Oprah. You can watch Jessica's tour-de-force here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/11/19/jessica-seinfeld-on-plagi_n_73306.html

All I can say is: unbelievable. I used to love Seinfeld but I find this feeling of revulsion welling up in me whenever I see his mug now. He needs to go away and take his attention-seeking wife with him.

Further Fictionalizing Twilight's Fiction?

I saw a trailer for Twilight last night and I'm kinda thinking I'm not going to go see it. Granted, I just finished the book so the details are fresh - and probably won't be at the end of next month - but in the three-minute trailer, it looks like the screenwriter took a lot of liberties with the storyline. Some are minor - in the book, after Edward saves Bella from nearly getting run over in the school parking lot, they lie on the ground together and she questions him, trying to figure out how he was there in a split second. In the trailer, it looks like he saves her and dashes off. The trailer also suggests that the ending will be a big showdown between Edward and James; that's a necessary change that I understand - you can't just have your main character black out and miss everything - but still, it's different.

I'm also not buying Cedric Diggory as Edward Cullen, mostly because I don't think he's good-looking enough. It's a mean thing to say but I think the point is well driven home in Twilight that Edward looks like a god. So I'm kinda surprised that they didn't pick someone who was just devastatingly handsome...though I suppose the white cake makeup doesn't help. (C'mon y'all, vampires are pasty.) Having said that, you know who I have always pictured as Edward Cullen, besides my friend of almost-the-same-name? Chuck Bass. And he's not handsome at all, but I can't help it...there was something in the early descriptions in Twilight that just locked in that comparison. Now when I see Gossip Girl, that's all I can think of...Chuck Bass as a vampire.

Alas poor Chuckles. Well, despite my lack of enthusiasm for the trailer, that hasn't dampened my curiousity for book two...I need to know what happens with Bella and Edward! So I caved today and bought New Moon. No doubt I'll be done shortly. :)

#22: Twilight, Stephenie Meyer

Yes! It's October 12 and I've just finished book #22. Maybe I'm just kidding myself, but I finally feel like I'm on track to reading 30 books this year, after multiple years of failure...thank god.

Helping me along the path is Twilight, which I just finished this morning. I really enjoyed it and see why it's a phenomenal bestseller (although a surprising number of readers on Amazon seem to disagree). Also, after poking around Stephenie Meyer's website, I have to say I am totally impressed with how down-to-earth and normal she seems, and I totally want her to come over for coffee.

I found Twilight to be shockingly simple, although not in a bad way; Meyer's writing is really basic and uncomplicated, and while that's something that bothered the Amazon people, I found that it enabled me to slip into the story and envision the scenarios for myself. I'd never really thought of writing that way, and would compare it to another book I love, Michael Ondaatje's In the Skin of a Lion...with that book, you can't really get ahold of the images until you parse through the writing to decipher what he means. Anyway, the simplicity of Twilight was something that struck me early on.

So the basic storyline, for anyone who doesn't know, is the love story between ordinary Bella Swan and vampire Edward Cullen. Bella moves from Phoenix to Forks, Washington in the middle of her junior year and suddenly finds herself as the center of much male attention. (As a side note, I think I liked the story immediately because I could totally personally relate: Our family moved to another state in the middle of my sophmore year; it was annoying, nerve-wracking, and also very strange to be the center of attention in a town where nothing ever really changes.) Despite her newfound popularity, Bella only has eyes for Edward, her gorgeous, abnormally pale lab partner. (As another side note, I have a college friend whose name is very similar to Edward Cullen and it was a weird mental image. Sorry Ed.) Bella and Edward spend the novel trying to be in love and stay out of love, for Bella's sake, until the end - when vampire James enters the picture and decides he wants a challenge and tries to steal Bella for himself.

It's kind of a funny book because not much happens, even though it's about 500 pages long. For the most part, it's a lot of push and pull between Bella and Edward...she tries to figure him out and he tries to resolve his feelings. But it was still captivating, and sweet, and I was entranced with their love story. At times, some of the bigger, unresolved questions bothered me - I don't know if Stephenie Meyer tackles them in the next books, but I found it was better to let them go and not think about them. Like, for example, how can Bella and Edward sustain this relationship? It seems to me that she's going to have to become a vampire - and she wants to - but so far, it's not in Edward's character to do it (and he gave up his opportunity in Twilight to let fate make it happen). But then do you really want her to become a vampire? Their age difference also kind of bothered me; it's fine at the beginning when Edward is supposed to be 16-ish, but then I realized that no, he's really a mature adult man having a relationship with a teenager. But again, I tried to put aside these little nitpicky questions; I don't know, I guess I think that a young adult novel doesn't have to stand up next to War and Peace, and that's okay.

So anyway...I devoured (haha) Twilight in less than 48 hours and am now eagerly awaiting New Moon to come into the library. In the meantime, I will probably get back to Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho. I had started it just before I got Escape and was entranced with the first 10 pages I got to read of it. :)

#21: Escape, Carolyn Jessop with Laura Palmer

I really didn't intend to read two memoirs about the FLDS in a row, honestly I didn't. But as soon as I was done with Stolen Innocence, Escape had arrived for me at the library and I wasn't going to be able to renew it. As you know from my post on Stolen Innocence, I hated it - it disturbed me that Elissa Wall played the victim, poor her, and she just wanted to put it behind her until everyone forced her to come forward and be the star witness and save the day. Blech. So I was a wee bit nervous about Escape, but I really liked it. I thought she did a far superior job of just laying out the story without heaping on the judgment, and also of just illuminating the general practices of the FLDS, mixing that in with her own personal story. She really struck me as a normal, level-headed woman who was born into the wrong household.

And what a story. It's riveting and horrifying, much like a car crash that you can't look away from. The day after her wedding, she comments: "My happiness, in their [her parents'] view, was dependent on my willingness to do the will of God, no matter how painful that might be to me." I'd say that sentence pretty much sums up the book and the FLDS philosophy. Since God's will comes through a man, be it prophet, father, or husband, a woman has to do what the man in her life commands, with no argument or question.

Carolyn is married to 50-year-old Merril Jessop when she's 18. He asks the prophet for her specifically, thinking Carolyn is the name of her prettier sister, in the hopes that her father, his business partner, will drop a lawsuit against him once they're family. He already has three other wives and soon acquires two more. He truly loves one of the wives, Barbara, and while he "does his duty" with the rest, he treats Barbara like the only wife...which in turn gives this woman the power to order them around (she's supposedly passing on Merril's "will") and take out any disobedience on the children. It's sick and it's so frustrating to read about that I can't imagine what it must have been like to live in that situation. Not surprisingly, the six women are constantly fighting amongst themselves, hoping to undermine each other and gain Merril's favor. The book is basically about Carolyn's struggle to survive in the household and later, to escape it.

Escape contains example after example of overwhelming ridiculousness. I'll limit myself to just one, otherwise we'd be here all day. "When I ordered shrimp, Merril threw a fit. Merril doesn't eat shrimp, which meant I couldn't either. It was wrong for me to like something he didn't. As his wife, I was to become one with him in every way...A devout wife would never even desire to eat something her husband disliked." And in the end, she gets the steak. Seriously?

Speaking of steak, it's also crazy how they treat medical care...when someone gets sick, it's not biology, it's a correction from God that they're not living in harmony with the husband. When second wife Ruth's son is hospitalized after a dirt bike wreck, the doctors try to contact her and Merril, concerned that he might need an operation. Merril dismisses it, and forbids Ruth from going. When another son and later Merril go to visit him in the hospital, both times they disconnect the IV and take the kid out for a steak dinner. Seriously? And the thing is, I'm not sure that I believe someone as powerful as Merril Jessop believes that medicine is fake. I see him a bit like Henry the 8th, which I realize may sound totally random. But after 60 years of holing absolute power over 6 women and like 60 kids, he has a distorted, puffed-up view of himself and his personal power. He can no longer see himself, or life for that matter, realistically. The whole thing is just crazy.

However, Escape does contain some editing mistakes that hurt the book because the story gets confusing. For the most part, it was little details on the page, but they made me stop and go, huh?, which hurt the flow. For example, on page 69: "I didn't know Brigham at all. We had never been in school together, plus he was a year ahead of me. But at the public school, we had a class together..." The only problem? Carolyn is a senior. So how can he be a year ahead but still in school with her? The detail stuck out to me because a few pages back, it had been a big deal when she returned to high school after being forced to take correspondence classes, and she was happily placed in as a senior.

But overall, I enjoyed it and would recommend it.

Next up: Twilight