I really didn't intend to read two memoirs about the FLDS in a row, honestly I didn't. But as soon as I was done with Stolen Innocence, Escape had arrived for me at the library and I wasn't going to be able to renew it. As you know from my post on Stolen Innocence, I hated it - it disturbed me that Elissa Wall played the victim, poor her, and she just wanted to put it behind her until everyone forced her to come forward and be the star witness and save the day. Blech. So I was a wee bit nervous about Escape, but I really liked it. I thought she did a far superior job of just laying out the story without heaping on the judgment, and also of just illuminating the general practices of the FLDS, mixing that in with her own personal story. She really struck me as a normal, level-headed woman who was born into the wrong household.
And what a story. It's riveting and horrifying, much like a car crash that you can't look away from. The day after her wedding, she comments: "My happiness, in their [her parents'] view, was dependent on my willingness to do the will of God, no matter how painful that might be to me." I'd say that sentence pretty much sums up the book and the FLDS philosophy. Since God's will comes through a man, be it prophet, father, or husband, a woman has to do what the man in her life commands, with no argument or question.
Carolyn is married to 50-year-old Merril Jessop when she's 18. He asks the prophet for her specifically, thinking Carolyn is the name of her prettier sister, in the hopes that her father, his business partner, will drop a lawsuit against him once they're family. He already has three other wives and soon acquires two more. He truly loves one of the wives, Barbara, and while he "does his duty" with the rest, he treats Barbara like the only wife...which in turn gives this woman the power to order them around (she's supposedly passing on Merril's "will") and take out any disobedience on the children. It's sick and it's so frustrating to read about that I can't imagine what it must have been like to live in that situation. Not surprisingly, the six women are constantly fighting amongst themselves, hoping to undermine each other and gain Merril's favor. The book is basically about Carolyn's struggle to survive in the household and later, to escape it.
And what a story. It's riveting and horrifying, much like a car crash that you can't look away from. The day after her wedding, she comments: "My happiness, in their [her parents'] view, was dependent on my willingness to do the will of God, no matter how painful that might be to me." I'd say that sentence pretty much sums up the book and the FLDS philosophy. Since God's will comes through a man, be it prophet, father, or husband, a woman has to do what the man in her life commands, with no argument or question.
Carolyn is married to 50-year-old Merril Jessop when she's 18. He asks the prophet for her specifically, thinking Carolyn is the name of her prettier sister, in the hopes that her father, his business partner, will drop a lawsuit against him once they're family. He already has three other wives and soon acquires two more. He truly loves one of the wives, Barbara, and while he "does his duty" with the rest, he treats Barbara like the only wife...which in turn gives this woman the power to order them around (she's supposedly passing on Merril's "will") and take out any disobedience on the children. It's sick and it's so frustrating to read about that I can't imagine what it must have been like to live in that situation. Not surprisingly, the six women are constantly fighting amongst themselves, hoping to undermine each other and gain Merril's favor. The book is basically about Carolyn's struggle to survive in the household and later, to escape it.
Escape contains example after example of overwhelming ridiculousness. I'll limit myself to just one, otherwise we'd be here all day. "When I ordered shrimp, Merril threw a fit. Merril doesn't eat shrimp, which meant I couldn't either. It was wrong for me to like something he didn't. As his wife, I was to become one with him in every way...A devout wife would never even desire to eat something her husband disliked." And in the end, she gets the steak. Seriously?
Speaking of steak, it's also crazy how they treat medical care...when someone gets sick, it's not biology, it's a correction from God that they're not living in harmony with the husband. When second wife Ruth's son is hospitalized after a dirt bike wreck, the doctors try to contact her and Merril, concerned that he might need an operation. Merril dismisses it, and forbids Ruth from going. When another son and later Merril go to visit him in the hospital, both times they disconnect the IV and take the kid out for a steak dinner. Seriously? And the thing is, I'm not sure that I believe someone as powerful as Merril Jessop believes that medicine is fake. I see him a bit like Henry the 8th, which I realize may sound totally random. But after 60 years of holing absolute power over 6 women and like 60 kids, he has a distorted, puffed-up view of himself and his personal power. He can no longer see himself, or life for that matter, realistically. The whole thing is just crazy.
However, Escape does contain some editing mistakes that hurt the book because the story gets confusing. For the most part, it was little details on the page, but they made me stop and go, huh?, which hurt the flow. For example, on page 69: "I didn't know Brigham at all. We had never been in school together, plus he was a year ahead of me. But at the public school, we had a class together..." The only problem? Carolyn is a senior. So how can he be a year ahead but still in school with her? The detail stuck out to me because a few pages back, it had been a big deal when she returned to high school after being forced to take correspondence classes, and she was happily placed in as a senior.
But overall, I enjoyed it and would recommend it.
Next up: Twilight
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